Yurp. Slurp. Then burp.
Bon appetite los animales!
Lou Reed was shaken to his core after seeing a hooker yelling at a wino in Harlem. He was there buying pot for his drum circle.
So he ran home and wrote “Walk On The Wild Side”.
As it happens, ol’ Lou didn’t witness jack shit.
What a glorious feeling,
I’m hydroplaning again.
“If you vote for Hillary Clinton I will give you a blowjob,” Madonna told a packed crowd at New York City’s Madison Square Garden on Tuesday, first reported by The Hill.
“And I’m good,” boasted the 58-year-old Queen of Pop, during her opening act for comedian Amy Schumer.
“I am not a douche, and I am not a tool. I take my time,” boasted the Like a Virgin singer. “I maintain eye contact, and I do swallow.”
An admin always claims his prize.
Joey Salads: Big favor, I need to borrow your car.
admin: I don’t know. Remember that time I lent you my jet ski?
Joey Salads: That was a one-off event.
admin: Well alright, but only because I love you.
I counted 2 shi-POWs and 1 my negus.
Hillary, Megyn, Anderson, and Wolf all want you thinking and talking about Donald & all the FUPA he’s pissed off.
They don’t want you to know how Wikileaks is undoing a generation of top-level corruption, so some SEAL team moved in the middle of the night to cut off Assange’s internet.
Thankfully Moe was on top of things.
This fat bitch will be getting a pension too.
I was the artist, btw.
admin promises: forthcoming meat on the menu … it’s just that I have a job too, a really gay one that I excel in.
And comparatively, I’d jump at the chance to scrape dog shit off people’s shoes if it meant I could spend the rest of the time on the job sleeping, eating junk food, and bitching in ebonics to co-workers who share my pain and interest in rap music.