This post was executed entirely via iPhone 5 in airplane on the tarmac. Sitting next to a legitimate 6, which I am excited about.
When she glimpses (and I’ll make sure she will) at the A&T on my phone she will realize that I am not a homo. I win again.
I salute the spirit in which this sign was made.
I respect and honor it.
But truth be told whenever I’m in a bathroom that I have no intention of returning to any time soon I hose down the walls like they are on fire. And that has nothing to do with the size of my baby carrot.
Yankee Doodle came to town.
Now with back beef.
Make yourself presentable.
Puerto Rico is $72 billion in debt, that’s over $200k per drunken barefoot clown in a
country future US state whose main occupations are insurance fraud and plaintain picking and threatens to throw a monkey wrench in our economy.
Yet somehow this isn’t offensive, so feel free to fly this flag in your yard, on your car, or if you’re like me on your t-shirt while walking around sans pants.
In other news, THE DONGER reports that Emily Ratajkowski has discovered the selfie.
We applaud Emily for not resting on her already impressive body of work.
White privilege alive and well. This is an Uber cab in Brooklyn.
This guy cares, unlike the white man. Gonna check in and get the young man’s grades up.
We are so racist. We must change.
Phil or Kill?
Final Dead shows this weekend.
O/U (or is it before/after?) for reunion tour: 2019.
Guess the final Dead song: I’m guessing that after the first set the Dead will play a 90 minute version of Drums/Space followed by a Drums/Space encore. This will allow concert goers ample time to take massive dumps without the anxiety that they’re missing anything, a true gift of generosity to the fans paying $10k for nosebleeds.
Wave that flag, wave it wide and high
In light of a recent heinous act that’s triggered a widespread wave of social retardation, it is undoubtedly best for our country to adopt the Stars and Bars as the new official flag. Those who don’t like it can shove it up their ass with a hearty “fuck you” from your humble admin.
FOK: Summer lovelies with a back beef accompaniment.
Social media murder confession?
I gotta get a White Castle hat.
We’re going vegan. Just not today.
The Mr. Gimlet
Bon appetite los animales!