The defense will rest, but first a little unga-bunga

September 17th, 2014

Hedge Fund Manager Keeps A Detailed Record Of All The Asses He’s Grabbed

“I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life,” Brian H. Lederman boasted to The Post. “But I’ve never grabbed hers.” “I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like,’ ” he said. “I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’ ”

Right before can-pawing and grab-assing

Sensing the opportunity to grab some ass and paw some cans

Good for him, but this man and the ass he’s grabbed is nothing.

What I’d like to see, what I’d really like, is the secret diary of a Wall Street ho; the kinds that used to prowl around trading/sales desks virtually unfireable because of the feathers that would be ruffled.

I suppose they’re equivalents are plying their trade on the buy side nowadays.

These hussies, often lookers, are keepers and practitioners of the ancient art of sleeping up the ladder to a comfortable perch.

And I’m left getting elbow titty off of eggplants on the subway. So sad.

One man gang felled by bad clamwiches

September 17th, 2014

Noted 23-year old TheDanzaTap China correspondent, Zheng Gnag, is dead.


Authorities are trying to say the strain of tossing 4 loads in 10 days was too much. While such a schedule might do in me or you that story is bullshit because Zheng was a fucking juggernaut.

They’re hiding the real cause of his death: bad clam.

We’ve narrowed it down, determined to solve this ancient Chinese secret…

Could have been clam from smoked eelgrass…


Might have been the ying yang shramp…


Else it was some dreaded Booyah Barnacles that done him in…


We will all miss Zheng, the one man Gang.

Mr. Bum Bum gets laid a lot lot

September 16th, 2014

Miss Bum Bum loses her top top

September 16th, 2014

Portugese lovely and one-time winner of the prestigious Miss Bum Bum award, Marianne Ranieri, is dear to millions.


And so it’s the world’s business when she’s running around Miami topless.


Intriguing tan lines.


With the Miss Bum Bum title came much fame.

Here Marianne mocks some also rans.


In case you’re wondering who the competition is …


Thankfully her torso shields us from that dago’s bone bone.

Best man

September 16th, 2014

You’re the best man – now claim your prize…


I would choose the abundance of poundhound #4 because this is a wedding I never want to forget.