thedanzatap

When your pubes are the color of Dorito nacho cheese you’ll gain a command of the subject, just like this kid.

Powerful.

Roger Daltrey should be thankful he only got caught lip synching.

Townsend had a wardrobe malfunction backstage as he was singing “It’s a Boy” to a 6-year old fan.

And you thought you hated Stafford before…

I saw a band last week and some torn and frayed hippie chick, definitely shrooming, came right up to me to rub my baldie/crewcut. Don’t know if I reminded her of an old skinhead she used to bone or what, but the trouser trout woke up.

Marisa Miller’s touch would give me a fatal heart attack on the spot. I wouldn’t even die with smile, just total shock.

Southern Gal wins it with 3 of 5 correct. Time to pet the hedgehog, SG.

No grats to anyone falling into the One Brotha/One Marley trap.

Enjoy the Superbowl.

Not only do you like her, not only do you recognize that canyon in the back, but you’d recognize her canyon if she turned around and dropped trou, you dirty bastard.

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Just in time for Superbowl weekend: Michael Irvin accused of rape.

What an asshole. No, not Michael Irvin, but the last guy who hired him.

And the guy before that.

And before that.

Fact is, his name is not that legendary and his insight is not profound. I recall his last embarrassment was cops finding a pipe in the supposedly sober Irvin’s glove compartment. ESPN execs publicly gave him the benefit of the doubt. Yay!

Irvin: let the “guy in the public eye” act go; you will always be a target for rape accusations because a) you’re a high profile idiot and b) you probably raped that bimbo who was dumb enough to think you and your over the hill posse would treat her as just another pal.

Bimbo: you actually DID have it coming.

ABC/NFL TV execs: Any slob with a pulse can figure out what the fuck is going on in a football game.

Try showing glacier skiing videos with rock music instead of former stars trying to be likable AND witty (sorry Dan Marino) for the audience during halftime.

You might be pleasantly surprised at your ratings.

Gonna run a localized contest off the fruits of The Smoking Gun’s efforts, matching mugshot to recording artist being worn on T-shirt.

Answers at 6pm, just put yours in – we’ll see how you do…

My answers: 1-A, 2-E, 3-C, 4-D, 5-B [0-5]

Winner gets to pet Piscataway Patty’s groundhog.