TDT liveblogging Austin 9/20-24

September 18th, 2014

Going down to Austin on Saturday for the biggest weekend on the local calendar – no game to lose! Longhorn Bye = win!

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There as a sexual hostage while a ladyfriend has biz conference; good opportunity to meet some peeps and sightsee – please pipe up or email suggestions if you’re in the know. ([email protected])

I’ll be cataloguing Texas sized bullies…
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…doing anything on God’s green earth to ID her …
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…and discussing possible sortie for some Tech tail …
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That sort of thing.

Celebrating National Puppy Week

September 18th, 2014

I love nuzzling up to puppies.

Schnauzer
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And I hate throwing them off a bridge once they’re older.

Golden
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Though totally necessary, it leaves me somewhat remorseful.

Samoyed
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But that’s what National Puppy Week is for … more puppies!

Beagle
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We have a wide selection up for adoption this year.

Robotic
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Please provide your own wee-wee pads.

Portugese Water Dog
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Puppy Week has been sponsored by THE DONGER.

Pinscher
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The defense will rest, but first a little unga-bunga

September 17th, 2014

Hedge Fund Manager Keeps A Detailed Record Of All The Asses He’s Grabbed

“I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life,” Brian H. Lederman boasted to The Post. “But I’ve never grabbed hers.” “I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like,’ ” he said. “I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’ ”

Right before can-pawing and grab-assing

Sensing the opportunity to grab some ass and paw some cans

Good for him, but this man and the ass he’s grabbed is nothing.

What I’d like to see, what I’d really like, is the secret diary of a Wall Street ho; the kinds that used to prowl around trading/sales desks virtually unfireable because of the feathers that would be ruffled.

I suppose they’re equivalents are plying their trade on the buy side nowadays.

These hussies, often lookers, are keepers and practitioners of the ancient art of sleeping up the ladder to a comfortable perch.

And I’m left getting elbow titty off of eggplants on the subway. So sad.

One man gang felled by bad clamwiches

September 17th, 2014

Noted 23-year old TheDanzaTap China correspondent, Zheng Gnag, is dead.

clamwich

Authorities are trying to say the strain of tossing 4 loads in 10 days was too much. While such a schedule might do in me or you that story is bullshit because Zheng was a fucking juggernaut.

They’re hiding the real cause of his death: bad clam.

We’ve narrowed it down, determined to solve this ancient Chinese secret…

Could have been clam from smoked eelgrass…

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Might have been the ying yang shramp…

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Else it was some dreaded Booyah Barnacles that done him in…

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We will all miss Zheng, the one man Gang.

Mr. Bum Bum gets laid a lot lot

September 16th, 2014