TDT remains an old-fashioned institution. Consider this a pre-emptive auto-rejection.

There will be no review of Mr. November’s backside, for there is nothing to verify here. There will be no consideration for Miss TDT status, no invite to the Christmas party.

Note: I said nothing about the afterparty. I am told Mr. November and Weinstein have both RSVP’d. Typically we discard our party slacks and socialize in our briefs. That’s about all I am at liberty to say right now.

Friends.

Caribbean dreams.

Pinched.

Finer things.

Beach party bully.

We had her in to read for the lead in the ill-fated, TDT produced “My Body, My Gerbil” – an ambitious and much ballyhooed avant-garde arthouse picture that ultimately failed because there was no script or camera.

Nobody knew what was going on – yet it hardly mattered. We were all carefree back then.

Everything was clicking – her ass even checked out.

Jlaw stood up to the most rigorous of testing.

That script is lying around somewhere. Gotta find it, it’s really good.

Summon the help.

Inspect the moneymaker.

Groom the Chihuahua.

Hang out.

Even if one gets done, should be a good day.

Prairie tramp.

It’s all a game. Just a big game.

Prized.

Full recovery.

Renegade.

British blogger Tracy Kiss used excess labia skin from a recent surgery to create jewelry.

The woman said she’s passionate about the subject of female genital surgery and hopes the jewelry will be a conversation starter.”

Or stopper.

lc and fc both making new highs pic.twitter.com/PnNH7uNdG9

— Billy Ray Valentine (@meatidea) October 2, 2017

Aretha Franklin blew off Whitney Houston’s funeral. Will she skip Hefner’s? I hope not.

Didn’t know Hef had a traumatic backstory in his personal life. Turns out his first wife banged some guy while he was a virgin in the army somewhere. They married, but he was devastated and she felt guilty so she let him have affairs and then dedicated herself to helping him launch Playboy. He dumped her when he got big. Again, traumatic backstory.

Before Barbi Benton parlayed her relationship with Hefner into multiple appearances on Love Boat, Match Game, and Hollywood Squares she ran wild on his estate.

We must fumigate the grotto.

At 91 Hef takes the ultimate report and is not in a better place now.

Au revoir, playboy.