Summer goals

Goal 1: Lose weight

I currently weigh 3.25 Sharptons – need to drop at least 1 full Sharpton before I can start looking good in a track suit.

Instead of eating brunch I will disrupt them.

Goal 2: Improve station

Secure promotion from stock boy to nighttime manager at local convenience store. There’s been a sudden vacancy.

No subtitles needed

Such ferocity.

And so sudden.

One moment he’s there enjoying the charms of a lady friend – and then without warning a brutal no holds barred attack from above. No time to get up and put on his pants to fight. Dude was sunk.

And we didn’t even get to see her tits. A true day of infamy.