CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) – Police say a man caught masturbating at a Clearwater bus stop told them he was Captain Kirk. …

Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was “obvious” the man was masturbating.

A curious missive was found nearby…

Cadets:

You never know when you may need to validate the Vulcan. So it’s okay to R2BeatOff wherever.

Just exercise caution when exercising the Wrath of Khock around a schoolyard because earthlings don’t like it when you Spock all over their offspring.

Live Long and XHamster,
Capt. James Tiberius Kirk

Souped up.

So sassy. So spirited.

Class it up.

And again.

Renegade.

Power finish.

Pet.

Pals.

Tour dé force.

Renegade.

A&T in B&W.

Yeah … why not?

Fancypants.

Carefree.

Renegade.

A Miami judge who grew up in the Big Apple has come under fire for using the word “moolie” to describe black defendant.

One listen. One answer.

Seaworthy.

We all need frands.

Double Tubble.

Renegade.

Paradiso A&T

Karen McDougal is in the news for relations with President Trump. She was a Playboy Playmate in 1998, widely regarded as a good year for hot naked women – certainly on par with ’97 & ’99. True halcyon days.

Being a Playmate is just dandy but we issue no waivers here.

TDT’s Committee of Standards, as rigorous and fussy as ever, needed to ensure that indeed the ass checks out…

So be it.

As a small-town girl in Sawyer, Michigan, Karen McDougal was a tomboy until a late-teens growth spurt turned her into a beauty queen.

This Karen McDougal. She has a unique way of catching crabs.

Unfortunately Google Image Search can’t read minds.

Apparently there’s more than one nude Karen McDougal out there…

So I took Jan & Feb off.

Large shook me from my doldrums.

Tomorrow on @BarstoolRadio, I'm gonna have NYC blogging legend Large from Take A Report in studio. If you were in New York back in the early days of blogs popping up, you remember Large. One of the best to ever do it.

— KFC (@KFCBarstool) February 14, 2018

Bat bongos.

Why, hello.

Healthy attitude.

Tussle ensues.

Renegade.

Highly prized.

Fin.