It’s summertime so I joined a gang. It’s me, my fidget spinner, my fuckin’ Sea Doo, my drone, and my Body Glove retro 80s surf shorts. We’re hitting every beach in the USA.
We like the sights.
Even though we’re a gang sometimes we still get sand kicked in our face – it’s tough out there – but nothing compared to what how bullies pound prey into submission.
Sometime we run into bullies in their natural habitat.
Lone bully on the prowl.
Have fun but be careful.
Emily Ratajkowski: My massive juggos are killing my career.
“It’s like an anti-woman thing, that people don’t want to work with me because my boobs are too big. What’s wrong with boobs?”
Apparently her boyfriend “loves and deeply respects women”. Fucking kill that guy.
Because they copy everything else in the world, China took a stab at recreating Brazil’s prestigious Miss Bum Bum contest.
And you know what? It wasn’t such a bad facsimile.
They wore masks so people could tell them apart.
Masked beaver beauticians at work while dude does pushups. So normal.
Air squats. Again, so normal.
Share these key behavior modifications with your kid:
• Ensure your pant cuffs fully reach ankles.
• Avoid volunteering for hall monitor.
• Have a favorite football team, know quarterback’s name and if he sucks or not.
• Quit bragging about the priest you blew last summer.
Traditionally the worst porn site in the world is the one you’re on when you when the deal has been closed. Report taken. St. Helen mounted and coned. St. Elmo fired. Can’t GTFO fast enough.
Still, some sites are better than others. Before an untimely death at sea, Captain Stabbin’ was known for dedication to his craft and a rigid adherence to the nautical buttstab story line.
And then there’s SexyFlightCrew. Never before has a website gone to such lengths to do so little with so grand a theme.