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I am dyslexic (D). And I suffer from Restless Eyes Syndrome (RES). And the detection of some seismic activity underneath a thin cotton veneer left me staring at a woman's chest, trying to audibly sound out a confounding juxtaposition of letters. This lass mistook my intentions and started giving me shit. Unfortunately, my obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) kicks in when I'm stressed. So now I had to touch not just one but each of her two boobies in a precise series of strokes and pokes. 'Round-the-mountain-and-back-again-with-a-cherry-on-top. This really pissed her off and she altogether disrupted my sequences - and I still didn't know what her shirt said! The world was ending. So I took her down and pinned her shoulders and took the few minutes I needed to read her shirt. After reading it (kind of an obnoxious shirt, by the way) I began a comprehensive "circle-circle-dot-dot-now-you-got-a-cootie-shot" process on each tit 10 times (one sequence each tit per finger). Exhale. Anyway, I'm sprung from lockup and will be live blogging U. Tennessee vs. Tennessee at Martin football game tomorrow for TheDanzaTap sports and ... wait a sec. What does that shirt say? .... Be right back... Cunt Smasher is back.

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