Archive for the ‘Danza’ Category

Notorious red dress district

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Tradesmen come from far and wide for some of that A & T.

at

Jordan Carver update

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Perhaps you’ve been wondering what Jordan Carver is up to.

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Just some selfies, is all.

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Not bad, Jordan – must be the yoga that keeps you in such good shape.

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Or the arts.

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Looking good in this orange number.

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Double downward dog damn it.

New TV series pitch: The Fantastic Four

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

My superhero-reality hybrid called The Fantastic Four is now entering pre-production stages. It’s about four attractive women who follow me around as I get drunk, hit the race track, and the discos.

At night (and sometimes during the day, you never know with The Fantastic Four) I will have relations with one or more of them. And sorry but no weiner shots, putting that in writing.

Co-stars: There’s Rebecca (the hottie) and Lucy (the slut)…
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I’m one-upping Charlie’s Angels here. My girls are gonna procure me drugs, slip me much needed dough, and extricate me from fisticuffs when I start with the wrong guy.

… and Billie (the tart) and Polly (the vixen).
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It’s a great fucking idea and I’m in the process of having these women do the show at steeply reduced wages in exchange for widespread fame.

Nothing goes wrong with this one.

Nude giant runs amok at Oregon hemp festival

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

GRANTS PASS, OR (KPTV) -
A naked man had to be sedated at a hemp festival in southern Oregon after police said he damaged cars, started fights and kicked an officer.

Oregon The whole Pacific Northwest is another country to me. I’ve been there several times and feel ill at ease in a land where abnormal is the norm.

This guy at 6’3″ and 250 was stoned and aggressive and naked and unable to find the Expo’s body painting event…

weed

For the love of God give that man his drugs.

He ended up attacking the police.

Here’s what he missed…

Below are some stills from that vid.

A curious caution: the first 4 or 5 entrants may cause wood, unless you’re a homo – then you’ll have to wait until the dudes come out a little later on. Many ‘mos might say this mirrors life itself.

Hero
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Zero
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Porterpaint
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In case of earthquake booze heavily

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

Earthquakes have broken out across the country.

The damage has been extensive.

Napa: 6.2 Richter Scale
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New Orleans: drinking and crumbling
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Hooters Quake: Seizure victim at the bar; vomit reported at tables 6, 7, and 8.
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Four Seasons Quake: 1.8 RS with aftershocks, Jergens tsunami feared
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New York Quake: 3.5 indecent inches
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Daily Planet Quake: editor’s desk stained, Jimmy fired
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Lake Havasu Quake: a cravasse has been exposed
havasu

Detroit Quake: all may be lost
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TDT Mid-Summer Mixer Quake: reports of reports still unconfirmed
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San Francisco’s BART Quake: straight deuce
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Wal Mart Parking Lot Quake: admin injured.
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Tampa Quake: Admit it, you gave this man $20
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…but at least it looks good in San Diego.
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