Archive for the ‘Not Surprising’ Category

Tubbin’

Thursday, April 30th, 2009
..."Take a picture, Tubby, it lasts longer". Sure. take-a-pic Every pitcher tells a story, don't it? tub-of-yes Ladies, Mr. Bubbles will be here shortly. He don't do laundry so lose your bikinis. two-tub

Hey Guy

Saturday, February 28th, 2009
madonna-and-guy-ritchieGuy Ritchie is trying to distance himself from the embarrassment of Madonna. Papers are saying he's been referring her as 'it', as in "I ate it the day I met it and married it a month later." Ha ha, we get the joke, Guy. She's not quite human, not like you and me. Well, fuck you Guy. Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and thought she'd stay home at night like a stinky Sicilian housewife. You might not be as stupid as Joltin' Joe, but you did willingly join the pitiful ranks of Sean Penn and the Beatty brothers as ex-Madonna props. You were looking for what... marital bliss? ------------------------------------------ Guy, by the way, is a real shitty way to address a man. When a dude calls you "guy" to your face, he infers that he's doing you a favor by not beating the shit out of you. deliNext time I hear "What'll it be, guy?" at a deli I'm gonna say "it will be me leaving here with a chicken parm and you in a white smock making sandwiches for the rest of your life - that's what it will be, guy. And one large half-n-half please. Thanks."

Screwing the pooch

Monday, February 23rd, 2009
securedownload-2 ... but which one? Canine taco smells like Milk bones dipped in leftover sardine juice, but I'd still feel safer fucking a jealous chimp than this dog's owner. Nice bombs though.

Yet another from the “Not Surprising” file

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
In a related incident, shots were fired outside of the San Francisco premier of "Milk" starring Sean Penn as famed politician and gay-rights activist Harvey Milk. Police are calling the incident a "drive-by fruiting"... Ba-Dum-Bum. got-milk

File this under “Not Surprising”

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
Four men were stabbed at a Brooklyn nightclub that was hosting an after-party for the film “Notorious” on Saturday night. The movie is about the life of late rapper, Biggie Smalls. biggie The club's name is The Djumbala, which I believe is Swahili for "no whites allowed"... And thank God for that. You know what? That's not fair. In this day and age, it's unfair to assume that any stabbing done at a premier party for a movie sensationalizing the life and death of some low-life rapper would automatically be perpetrated by African-Americans. For all we know, the party could've looked like this... carlton-from-bel-air Wall-to-wall "mudsharks", and you know at least a handful of them are packing Swiss Army knives.