Archive for March, 2009

Give that turtle a medal

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
...and fuck people who feed pigeons. Worst hobby in the world. Blogging isn't far behind, so get your best girl a SheWee today. shewee Coming soon: WePoo

Life’s a jolly holiday with Travis

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. St. Croix, St. Kitts, a monkey grabs your tits. travis-on-beach

If it wasn’t there she wouldn’t have snorted it.

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
ash2Maybe you heard about Ashley Biden, the 27 year old daughter of the Vice President who allegedly is on tape using her nose to eat cocaine. Well guess what? It was a set up! NO! And according to sources, the guy who secretly taped her ... even bought the coke! CRAZYTOWN! Ashley, your dad is the Vice-President of the United States and the anti-drug stance is a big part of his public identity. The prevailing rule is: don't get caught.
Being anti-drugs is a no-brainer for a politician who doesn't indulge; but if Joe was 27 and hanging with Ashley's crowd he'd be a hellacious coke wolf. Same goes for me, the Bush twins, and the Olsen twins. We all love blow.
And just a hunch, but I'll bet the tape shows Ashley displaying little clumsiness or hesitation to do someone else's coke. Michael Phelps might be dumb as a post, Ash, but at least he's not a coke whore. ashley For the Ottophiles... Q: how much gack would it take to convince Ashley to take a young retarded man's virginity?

Anyone know how to jumpstart a bimbo?

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
bimbos Maybe that boat has humper cables.

Government Motors

Monday, March 30th, 2009
gm stare-bear Poor Old New-dealer Thinks I want A Cadillac

In play … 1990

Monday, March 30th, 2009
Is this a "ya wanna feel old" or "ya wanna feel some young" post? born_in_1990_3 Even with a knowing, report-tested face like that, you can't legally take her to McSwiggan's for some Bud Lite - but Johnny Law says it's okay to grab her breasts when making your porno, porno! 1990.

After you…

Monday, March 30th, 2009
Some asshole sold Japan our secrets. charty The "Iadies first" thing is a gimmick, a cheap chivalry designed by and for the lusty gentleman. The only surprise is it's lasted this long. "Ladies first" off the elevator (check out the ass), "after you" up the subway stairs (check up the ass), ladies order first at dinner (or not at all - "she will have the linguini and I will have her ass as a hat, woppo.") Suppose those rumors about a pay table were true. Would "ladies first" still apply or would some guy with a mustache start a "ladies last" chant? Pay tables, like ass-check charts, usually remain secret until some rat blows a whistle. through-the-looking-balls

Slaphappy…but how do it know?

Saturday, March 28th, 2009
Like it is. Watch it a second time and freeze at 0:31... that's someone who CANNOT RELATE. I make that same face when people around me start dancing. That's because any floppy jalopy dick visiting Big Ol' Sista ain't worth a slap.

Must visit the Liu

Friday, March 27th, 2009
Erica Liu is a recent grad of Stanford, my safely school. erica8 Women who went there can safely assume that they're smarter than I am. Dudes who go there safely suck cock in a caring, structured environment. A definite safely. erica99 That gecko was sent on a mission from her ass to untie her top. May happen yet. erica