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Archive for October, 2009
Fashion Show Friday: Halloween Parade 2009
Friday, October 30th, 2009
Happy Halloween!
Bona fide Oompah Loompah Bitch
Chewy's gals
Chewy's gals
Fame
Friday, October 30th, 2009
Ronan Tynan, the legless Irish tenor who's banned for life from Yankee Stadium for cracking on Jews, sang last night at a Jewish Anti-Defamation League dinner. He brought the house down after he offered to pick up the tab.
Chiefs RB Larry Smith has been suspended and fined a 1/4 million for calling some guy a fag on Twigger. Now the fierce brother spends his free time apologizing to people who know every line to Brokeback but have never heard of a halfback.
Charlie Sheen, just won a grammy for the episode of Two and a Half Men for teaching the fat kid to suck himself off in lieu of traditional masturbation.
Lesson: Stay not famous.
Look...
Next year I’ll be a red injun and skip this hassle
Friday, October 30th, 2009
I'm dressing up as Obuckwheat the NBA Rapper for Halloween and part of my costume involves a slight tinting my of skin color to match an 8-ball.
But I'm left with a question, is "blackface" okay or not? Popular society gives me mixed messages.
For starters, no one is giving Heidi shit for wading into muddy waters...
O Mammy!
O Mammy!
Ted Danson, too, was widely praised for his aping of the black man via face paint. Note the lipwork. Outstanding, Ted.
(Second bravest act of his career, first was stabbing Whoopi Goldberg.)
But when Harry Connick, Jr. visited Australia and was a guest judge on a TV show there, he threw a shit fit when an act came out in "blackface" doing the Jackson 5.
Harry insinuated that an ungodly Negroforce would kick any white guy's ass who pulled that fucking shit in America, yo, and Connick left the unmistakable impression that he was globally down with brothers and therefore fit to accept Australian apologies on their behalf.
Fair enough.
Yet here's Connick a few years ago on Mad TV, face blackened and imitating a black preacher from the South.
I don't get it, Harry. Why was it okay for you and not the Australian rubes?
Anyway, I'm not taking chances. The Halloween party I'm going to is at the Haffsbrau Haus in Ho-Ho-Kus. I've pre-swept the grounds for Negro, thereby minimizing the risk of getting my ass handed to me by a thugga.
See you at the Hoffsbrau, homey.
Preview: Halloween parade 2009
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
She decided to dress up as "hot" for Halloween...
...no bullshit or whiskers this year, just a little flair on the bikini top and she's good to go.
...no bullshit or whiskers this year, just a little flair on the bikini top and she's good to go. High ass-angst in Crowley, TX
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
Thanking RD for sending in this Craigslist rant...
To the whore at the Texas Gold bar (Crowley)
This is Sean. The tall guy with the shaved head, big arms, that bought you and your whore 
freinds tequila after tequila after tequila. I was very interested in getting to know you better. You were very sexy and had one of the best bodies I have seen. However, I can not believe that you would get so upset. We were both drunk and yes I probably should have warned you before I tried to give it to you in the ass, but I figured me rim jobbing you then shoving my thumb in your asshole while I was dicking you doggystyle was enough prior warning. I can not believe the mess you made of my house and the little fit you threw. Breaking my shit! SERIOUSLY!?!?!? REALLY!?!?! and screaming AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!???? I thought my neighbors were going to be woken up and call the cops! If you don't like it in the ass, dont let a guy shove his thumb in there and say "That feels good baby!" WTF!!!! I am so mad right now I could throw my goddammed computer out the window! Bitch, I know you got yours, I KNOW you did. You left with your own cum dripping down your leg and Im left there with an iffy stiffy because you had to over react. A simple "hey, don't do that," would have worked just fine! Do you know what blue balls feels like you enourmous cunt? OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!!!! Thank god for FWBs or Id be in a world of pain right now. Next time I see you Im not going to say shit to you, Im just going to walk up behind you, pull your skirt up, and shove my entire fist up your ass. Silly dumb slut hooker! The whole anal thing just became an obsession with me as far as you are concerned, Im gonna make your life a living hell any way I possibly can. Oh, BTW, your little sister slipped me her number last night too! Maybe she'll take it in the ole doodoo hole. Your freind Melanie already added me on facebook too. I plan on calling her right after Im done laying the sewage pipe in your sister. Cant wait for you to hear all about it from her. Im gonna call her right now.
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Analysis: Sean is a grounded well-adjusted man and the women around him are whorish mutants. Hopefully he will find his doodoo hole-queen and with her, some happiness.
freinds tequila after tequila after tequila. I was very interested in getting to know you better. You were very sexy and had one of the best bodies I have seen. However, I can not believe that you would get so upset. We were both drunk and yes I probably should have warned you before I tried to give it to you in the ass, but I figured me rim jobbing you then shoving my thumb in your asshole while I was dicking you doggystyle was enough prior warning. I can not believe the mess you made of my house and the little fit you threw. Breaking my shit! SERIOUSLY!?!?!? REALLY!?!?! and screaming AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!???? I thought my neighbors were going to be woken up and call the cops! If you don't like it in the ass, dont let a guy shove his thumb in there and say "That feels good baby!" WTF!!!! I am so mad right now I could throw my goddammed computer out the window! Bitch, I know you got yours, I KNOW you did. You left with your own cum dripping down your leg and Im left there with an iffy stiffy because you had to over react. A simple "hey, don't do that," would have worked just fine! Do you know what blue balls feels like you enourmous cunt? OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!!!! Thank god for FWBs or Id be in a world of pain right now. Next time I see you Im not going to say shit to you, Im just going to walk up behind you, pull your skirt up, and shove my entire fist up your ass. Silly dumb slut hooker! The whole anal thing just became an obsession with me as far as you are concerned, Im gonna make your life a living hell any way I possibly can. Oh, BTW, your little sister slipped me her number last night too! Maybe she'll take it in the ole doodoo hole. Your freind Melanie already added me on facebook too. I plan on calling her right after Im done laying the sewage pipe in your sister. Cant wait for you to hear all about it from her. Im gonna call her right now.
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Analysis: Sean is a grounded well-adjusted man and the women around him are whorish mutants. Hopefully he will find his doodoo hole-queen and with her, some happiness.
Moved on
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
Hulk Hogan is getting back into the ring, for this venture called Total Nonstop Action.
Sorry, but Hogan in 2009 isn't enough to overcome the Laws of Diminishing Interest; not only is his 65 year old body not capable of "nonstop action", but who really needs non-stop action anyway?
Sometimes it's best for wrestlers to take a quick break from the action and warm up for the camera.
Bodog girls!
Bodog girls! Rosie O’Billybobbed
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
Remember Rosie O'Donnell's first TV gig on VH1, where she was basically Pee Wee Herman with a thick Long Island accent in a tuxedo?
Well, Rosie still has some set of balls - thinks she's got it going on bossanova because she had a shot at Angelina Jolie.
Rosie, if Billy Bob ran extended campaigns of seek-and-report unto Angie's various spaz-holes back when she was tender like lamb (Congress ought to give that freak a medal and the firing squad, in either order), then anyone she comes into contact with has a shot, including Busey and Begley, Jr.
And yet it's Brad Pitt taking home the bacon...Kevin Bacon. Smugglers.
Hate to rub this in Brad's face, but here's Billy Bob's first person spank tank before it turned into an Octomom lookalike...
"She gave me her phone number," O'Donnell recalls. "We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that . . .There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through." she said. "I was a little afraid of her. She's scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still."
Rosie, if Billy Bob ran extended campaigns of seek-and-report unto Angie's various spaz-holes back when she was tender like lamb (Congress ought to give that freak a medal and the firing squad, in either order), then anyone she comes into contact with has a shot, including Busey and Begley, Jr.
And yet it's Brad Pitt taking home the bacon...Kevin Bacon. Smugglers.
Hate to rub this in Brad's face, but here's Billy Bob's first person spank tank before it turned into an Octomom lookalike...
Reckoning
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
This from VillaNoleva...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, global warming, my savings, Social Security, my credit card debt..... I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan; I told them I was suicidal. They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
Like the face that stares back at you from the mirror?
If not you better learn to because it's not getting any prettier.
If not you better learn to because it's not getting any prettier. Spaulding, get dressed you’re playing golf
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
Has a beer cart girl ever been so hot, popping up every 3 holes or so during a round of golf, that you begin to miss her when she's not around and it fucks up your game?
Well, j sent in a cure for this curious malady....Caddy Chicks. How great is this site?
I browsed members and I've selected my next caddy, Ashley, from Long Island. She's mine for $25/hour.
If she doesn't feel like playing golf, we can skip that.
It's just the impetus I needed to get my next venture off the ground, Rack'Em Mamas.
If she doesn't feel like playing golf, we can skip that.
It's just the impetus I needed to get my next venture off the ground, Rack'Em Mamas.
