Month: June 2015
News beat: Tuesday
Puerto Rico is $72 billion in debt, that’s over $200k per drunken barefoot clown in a country future US state whose main occupations are insurance fraud and plaintain picking and threatens to throw a monkey wrench in our economy.
Yet somehow this isn’t offensive, so feel free to fly this flag in your yard, on your car, or if you’re like me on your t-shirt while walking around sans pants.
In other news, THE DONGER reports that Emily Ratajkowski has discovered the selfie.
We applaud Emily for not resting on her already impressive body of work.
White America needs to change
White privilege alive and well. This is an Uber cab in Brooklyn.
This guy cares, unlike the white man. Gonna check in and get the young man’s grades up.
We are so racist. We must change.
Caption it: What does that O stand for?
Fill or Kill: Topics du jour
Phil or Kill?
Final Dead shows this weekend.
O/U (or is it before/after?) for reunion tour: 2019.
Guess the final Dead song: I’m guessing that after the first set the Dead will play a 90 minute version of Drums/Space followed by a Drums/Space encore. This will allow concert goers ample time to take massive dumps without the anxiety that they’re missing anything, a true gift of generosity to the fans paying $10k for nosebleeds.
Wave that flag, wave it wide and high
In light of a recent heinous act that’s triggered a widespread wave of social retardation, it is undoubtedly best for our country to adopt the Stars and Bars as the new official flag. Those who don’t like it can shove it up their ass with a hearty “fuck you” from your humble admin.
FOK: Summer lovelies with a back beef accompaniment.
He works too hard for this
Social media murder confession?
I gotta get a White Castle hat.
Gnaw on Friday’s meat
We’re going vegan. Just not today.
Nectar
Bok Choi
The Mr. Gimlet
Sea Stew
Classico Rackamundo
Pork Chops
Porterhouse
Meat Balls
Apple Pie
Bon appetite los animales!
Happy hour is for everyone
for varmints
for gentlemen
for tradesmen
Lax god thinks he’s superman
Remove your caps, gentlemen, for there goes the three time captain of the Coker lacrosse team …
Masciarelli allegedly “would stop on occasion and pose like Superman exposing himself and urinating.”
When confronted by a sheriff’s deputy, Masciarelli “could not explain why he had no pants on,” nor did he know the way home.
Ah, there’s nothing here, he’s just going through a phase. A very fun fucking phase.
Ask your soul doctor
SPURT REYNOLDS