Rain? No. That was Travis the Chimp’s tears

No bananas. No Peace.

No bananas. No Peace.

The words every mother dreads having to write on Facebook: ‘that was my son that fell in the gorilla exhibit in the zoo’.


Baby daddy has mixed emotions about the whole affair, having spent a few years locked up in a federal zoo himself.

God protected my child until the authorities were able to get to him. My son is safe and was able to walk away with a concussion and a few scrapes… no broken bones or internal injuries.

And now Michelle Gregg, who was snapchatting selfies to her ghetto’s facebook page while her 4-year old swam with 700 lb gorillas, is taking God’s advice and suing the Cincinnati zoo.

As a society we are quick to judge how a parent could take their eyes off of their child and if anyone knows me I keep a tight watch on my kids. Accidents happen…

It’s no accident that an innocent silverback took a dirt nap over Memorial Day weekend. Justice for Harembe!

For the record Michelle, this is an accident:

Rowdy Negro? Nope. It was Troy Ave.

I heard about it on the radio – four shot, one fatally, at a rap concert in Manhattan.

And right away I had pretty good idea who did it.


Turns out I was wrong.

It was actually rapper Troy Ave who was gunning for a rival rapper. Guessing he wasn’t terribly concerned about surveillance cameras.

Ave on Twitter.

And not so ironically you’re going to prison for 20 years because that guy you shot died.

Culo Miércoles el mini Tigre

Dear chaps,

Please forgive admin. He not only refers to himself in the 3rd person when writing tardy notes to a bunch of faggots, but also suffers from brain damage that you gave him.

He is very angry now, hope you’re happy.



Make money -> Buy boat.

A&T classico.



Action packer.

Haines, DeNiro…

I don’t like CNBC. The hosts nowadays just seem like smarmy douchebags that I would have zero interest in spending any time with in my back yard. But Mark Haines (the original host of Squawk Box) was different. He had “it” and spoke to guys like he was in the same boat as the rest of us.

I was sad reading about the anniversary of his passing today, and I thought it would be fitting to post a video of him letting an old-school trader on an old-school trading desk be funny… Not condescending… Not inappropriate… Just funny.

Rest in peace, Mark, and I hope your family takes solace in the fact That one I won close to $800 on you in my office dead pool.


More from DeNiro & Haines

And DeNiro soldiers on…