Bag your own cougar

Cougars. Milfs. Snatcho. It’s all there for the taking on Instagram’s @smokinmommas account.

Consult TDT’s user guide so we can make the proper introductions.

Beginner – Jannie is new to the dating scene, no thousand yard stare. You both fumble around, hopefully at least one of you gets it right.
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Intermediate – Jordan loves to get freaky. You might learn a thing or two without anyone knowing you’ve fully dipped your dong into the swinger’s lane.
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Advanced – Destiny needs a guy ASAP. Fuck this up and it’s straight into the abyss you go.
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Expert Only You are in the kitchen with Dinah. You are gonna eat.
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Please remember that TheDanzaTap will not be held responsible for damages incurred should any cad misrepresent his expertise level.

Good luck!

Betting the chalk

Of interest: Tonight’s game in LA, Kershaw vs. the Braves is the most lopsided baseball line in 20 years.

TDT hero Michael Jack Corbin is risking $20k to win $5k.

Bottom of the 2nd, no score. Every dog has its day – maybe Atlanta’s Bud Norris rises to the occasion. Cross your fingers…

No loafing: Meat on Friday

Those crazy nights, I do remember at Hooters in Boca Raton
I do recall, those were the best times, most of all

– Steve Perry, of Journey
Original lyrics to “Stone in Love”, later changed by cold-hearted record exec.

Tots
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Happy Meal
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Steak-umms
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Tempura
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New York Strip
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Porterhouse
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Pan Seared Tuna
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Ice Cream
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Bon appetite los animales!

Two buck Chuck

Honoring today’s hero: Veteran Legal Aid Society’s Steven Pokart

Petty thief/longtime clown Aitabdel Salem spent 5 months locked up when a $2 bail would have freed him.

• Knowing what we do about the behavior of common street nuisances, Aitabdel must have been being a massive douche for his (free) lawyer to omit the mention that his guy could walk for less than it costs for a Starbucks coffee.

• The $2 bail was actually a combined sum for $1 bails on two different incidents. Maybe something is wrong with that picture.

• It would only be fair for Steven Pokart to remunerate Mr. Salem no less than two dollars.