Well well well.
Well well well well well-ity well well well.
Looks like a boring ol’ threesome got fatal in the People’s Republic of Park Slope…
A threesome can mean many things to many people.
Presumably all was progressing nicely until a participant (guy with a girlfriend not present) decided to take pictures, thereby greatly agitating another participant (girl with a boyfriend not present).
The horny shutterbug died that night of baseball bats and stab wounds.
THREESOMES: A CLOSER LOOK
• “Double Team” traditionally uni-clam powered and outfitted for dual sauseetch intake.
• A Double Team is not as prestigious in hetero circles as the golden rung “Canoe Ride” (two girls, one guy).
• In most of Park Slope a Double Team is still more highly prized and sought out than the “Leftover Duck” (two guys & a girl who doesn’t show up).
Big loss: this is the face you make when your boyfriend gets murdered after deciding to film his 2-on-1 without asking his new friends first.
So here’s the rub: the angry chick contacted her boyfriend, who was not part of the threesome. And in order to get him going, she told him she was raped. Now her boyfriend is not only a confirmed cuck, but a prime murder suspect as well.
And the guy who (still) lives in Park Slope drove the 21 year old girl back home to Staten Island (don’t bet against her being a naughty Italian broad with daddy issues) and then came back to Park Slope to enact some late night revenge on the guy who SIMPLY JUST HAD to document the sexcapade.
That’s when: the victim decided to leave for reasons that were unclear, sources said.
Around that time, the victim’s girlfriend — who was uninvolved in the threesome — received an ominous Instagram message reading “your boyfriend f–ked up and will be taken care of,” sources said.
Gadzooks. That could’ve been me … if I was a marginally lucky yet moronic asshole.