This will not stand

Troubling times for mammocentrics.

Big-boobed Playboy model Jenna Bentley has upset her army of fans by announcing she might get a breast reduction — after she nearly knocked herself out jogging.

The 24-year-old says her whopping 36E natural breasts are literally too big to handle and have been getting in the way of her new fitness regime.

To be fair, that’s why I don’t jog either. But why will no one ask her boyfriend, 55 year old Ben Brown, his opinion?

Come to think of it, we could use his take on a lot of things.

Let’s organize. Please send all Jenna breast reduction objections to:

Jenna Bentley
69 Backstreet
Sloppytown, USA

Back to school

On a personal level my interest in higher education is confined to the community college arena; much less drama and distraction on local party scenes where the lines blur between students, professors, drifters, janitors, and general creepers.

But even with that there’s always time for a field trip to see what’s up in university land.

And we take the fuckin’ bus.

Freshman: All smiles. World is new.

Sophomore: Party scene vets now.

Junior: Personal development stage. Exploration anew.

Senior: Ready to take on the world.

I hope you enjoyed the typical college field trip experience. Now you know what college is like today.