News beat: Tuesday

Puerto Rico is $72 billion in debt, that’s over $200k per drunken barefoot clown in a country future US state whose main occupations are insurance fraud and plaintain picking and threatens to throw a monkey wrench in our economy.

Yet somehow this isn’t offensive, so feel free to fly this flag in your yard, on your car, or if you’re like me on your t-shirt while walking around sans pants.


In other news, THE DONGER reports that Emily Ratajkowski has discovered the selfie.


We applaud Emily for not resting on her already impressive body of work.

6 thoughts on “News beat: Tuesday

  1. I would drink that entire bottle of nail polish remover if she would let me gently touch her belly button and say “ding dong”

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