Scenes from a Houston Burger King

Honestly, white men have a far better shot at making it in the NBA than they do muscling their way into the fast food meltdown scene.

But if you must then gotta earn your stripes. Start humble – cause a ruckus at a farmer’s market, fling organic honey at hippie chicks with a near zero chance at getting taken out by rogue D’Brickashaw.

Earn your stripes trashing the Whole Foods salad bar before you descend down the ladder to Cracker Barrel, Taco Bell, and White Castle.

Once you start slapping cashiers at BK & McDonald’s you’re in the big leagues.

And only maybe then, if you haven’t tapped out yet, might you be ready to scrap in an IHOP.

Be careful.

14 thoughts on “Scenes from a Houston Burger King

    1. When I did my will I was all worried about some stuff. My lawyer said, “You’ll be dead. No one will care and it won’t matter who you piss off.”

  1. That’s my city, good ol’ H-Town. I love it when we make national news for our important contributions to American culture. Surprised a negus wasn’t the primary aggressor here.

  2. The first video looked like Retardo after a rough night-probably a good story when he sobers up.

    Then the end of the 2nd video
    “breakfast is on the house since these bitches done ruined it”
    Amberlamps turns around and smiles.
    A Coupla flapjacks put her in a better place, not so skinny-she has a new home now.

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