Farewell Hugh Hefner

Aretha Franklin blew off Whitney Houston’s funeral. Will she skip Hefner’s? I hope not.

Didn’t know Hef had a traumatic backstory in his personal life. Turns out his first wife banged some guy while he was a virgin in the army somewhere. They married, but he was devastated and she felt guilty so she let him have affairs and then dedicated herself to helping him launch Playboy. He dumped her when he got big. Again, traumatic backstory.

Before Barbi Benton parlayed her relationship with Hefner into multiple appearances on Love Boat, Match Game, and Hollywood Squares she ran wild on his estate.

We must fumigate the grotto.

At 91 Hef takes the ultimate report and is not in a better place now.

Au revoir, playboy.

25 thoughts on “Farewell Hugh Hefner

  1. Out of respect for the deceased, today I’ll hold my tongue regarding personal preferences on some of those click throughs. Instead I’ll wonder aloud how goddamn tall the one on the left is in Fumigate click through.

    RIP Hef…I believe our humble Admin is the most appropriate heir to your kingdom.

    1. Kudos for your restraint, and while we’re at it, I’d like to propose a moratorium on complaints about bush-era bush. Yes, yes, it’s better now, but back in the day, you used your tongue or dick as a machete to get through cause that’s what you had to do.

  2. Got to give Hef respect, despite banging as many boys as girls.

    Pic 2 click thru- cranial and pubic hair is indistinguishable, which makes sense, I guess.

  3. Would be kinda cool, if he were like Mork’s Dad and came back as an egg to look younger as he got older.

    (Deeeep Thoughts)

  4. Is the mourning period over yet for this dude? I am looking for some Friday meat to lead me into the weekend. Hef would have wanted it that way…

  5. RIP Heffer (founder of the rippin and the tearin lifestyle)
    Thanks for living a lifestyle that every Muslim kills himself for.

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