Captain’s log: free Hand Sulu

CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) – Police say a man caught masturbating at a Clearwater bus stop told them he was Captain Kirk.

Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was “obvious” the man was masturbating.

A curious missive was found nearby…

Cadets:

You never know when you may need to validate the Vulcan. So it’s okay to R2BeatOff wherever.

Just exercise caution when exercising the Wrath of Khock around a schoolyard because earthlings don’t like it when you Spock all over their offspring.

Live Long and XHamster,
Capt. James Tiberius Kirk

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