20 thoughts on “Say it ain’t so!

  1. Well at least Gerard isn’t fighting the charges that he serially assaulted numerous Dunkin’ Donut franchises.

    Because nobody’d believe that shit wasn’t true.

  2. whenever i see #metoo, i read “pound-me-too”. not trying to be clever, but thats a fucking pound sign. i know what hash is, i know what tag is, but i’m too old know or care what a hashtag is. so its pound you, pound her, and pound me too.

    large is killing it at barstool and on barstool radio.

    1. He really is. It’s a shame the comment section of that website is a bunch of UMass-Brockton mouth-breathing retards because it doesn’t allow for comedy like this comment section has generated over the years (he doesn’t even read them over there).

  3. And here just the other day I thought Admin was ending the Tap like the Sopranos. Figured we’d see a news story about some internet guy having ODed down in the Caribe w/Hedo Rick.

    Nice to have you back old man.

    1. Chimp your diligence is wells served. Heard from A certain well heeled gentleman that admin is smitten with the fairer sex and his return is in serious question.

  4. In case any of you other Tappers we’re curious, I just looked up the news story, the charges were brought from a young woman-despite the stories/rumors he didn’t go all Spacey like he was rumored to have admitted.

    1. Spicy, with notes of vanilla bean, oak, earth, patchouli, and NesQuick (chocolate, not that strawberry horseshit). Best eaten earlier in the evening than later. Pair with PBR.

  5. Brief stop at Happy Hour with IT guy yesterday with an hour to kill before ride to airport. To protect confidentiality, names are changed but I called the kid Haj anyway. He’s a good kid but his firm sucks and we’re firing them today, actually I have 10 minutes to do that before lunch.

    ++++++++++
    JM: 30 women at this bar and you’re staring at me and your phone. Who are you texting?

    Haj: Alex, friend from school on his way. See the blonde over there?… don’t stare at her. She was here last Wednesday.

    JM: So Alex knows her?

    Haj: 
No.

    JM: What did Alex say when you told her she was here?

    Haj: (shows me emoji of fire shooting out of a hard-on)

    JM: You two going to look at her again tonight?

    (silence)

    JM: Do you like her?

    H: He does. I like her friend.

    JM: The fat one?

    Haj: Dude uncool she’s not fat.

    JM: Go talk to them.

    Haj: No, I’m waiting for Alex.

    JM: Move now get Abbot- sit back, Costello.

    Haj: What?

    JM: It’s the way of the fist. Follow me.

    ++++++

    JM: You know what, you smell really good.

    Halley: What? Do I know you?

    JM: I’m serious, my boss here said I had to come over here and smell you. Right Haj, this is the girl from last week? You were right, she’s amazing, and beautiful.

    Haj: WHAT?

    JM: I mean this bar…, it smells like shit. You’re like a tulip sticking out of a dead rat’s ass. I’m sure you get this all the time, I’m Jack and you are?

    Halley: I’m….Halley…and this is my friend,,

    JM: Hello Halley, this is Haj, he’s my boss, guy’s fucking loaded.

    Halley: This is my friend Jennifer.

    JM: Nice, I bet you go by Jenn a lot don’t you?

    Jenn: How did you know?

    JM: Haj here has developed a platform that matches facial recognition signatures to every social networking and location service. Swear to God, he can take a picture of you and tell you in 3 seconds where you had lunch and what it was. Haj take Jenn’s picture and I’ll…

    Haj: “NO I CAN’T DO THAT. JACK SHUT THE F…”

    JM: Guy’s got 5000 employees in Mumbai, when he goes back there he wears this fucking robe and rides on elephants, its unreal. Boss, give me one of your cards and I’ll open your tab. Is your queer friend Alfred coming here or is he going dancing?

    Haj: It’s Alex and he’s not gay. He’s not.

    JM: Hey whatever I love the guy. I have to take a piss then head to airport. Haj I’ll call you when I get to Sydney. You kids have fun. Halley let me smell you one more time…mmmmm. That’s nice.

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