Ahoy, old hooker!
Sexually-charged 'cougar cruise' on deck for Carnival ship
First a cruise for swingers. Now a voyage for . . . cougars.
That's right, a bit of naughtiness will be hitting the high seas in December as what's billed as the first "cougar cruise" sets sail out of San Diego.
Los Gatos, Calif.-based Singles Travel Company is sponsoring the three-night escapade aboard a Carnival ship, which is aimed at older woman who pursue younger men -- or "cougars," in contemporary lingo....
Anyone remember Cap'n Stabbin'? He was the guy who'd take girls out on his cabin cruiser and, once at sea, bang them in the ass.
Well, free porn swamped the internet and ruined his business so he changed his name to Cap'n Snuffin'. Now he charges $3.95 a month for the privilege of watching him really finish the job.
They don't come 'em much crustier than Cap'n Snuffin'.
Meet me on the lido deck for a rum runner. Can't miss me, I'm an albino...
and in desperate need of a wing man. Yes, even on a cougar cruise.
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Capt. Stabbin brought hookers out on his boat and poked his yardarm in their fo’c'sles. He’d fish AND cut bait, that old bugger……
Cougar Cruise is a stupendous idea! I wish I was 30 again ….
No doubt will be a new world record for tequila induced atm.
That boat better be loaded with Cosmos and a shit ton of E-Z Glide for those crusty old catchers mitts these wild cats are bringing on board.
2 days and several nights of “Fun Day at Sea” …
Halloween in Cabo – new meaning to “The Giggling Marlin”…
an empty wallet, a killer hangover and headache…
and several STDs…
PRICELESS!
The SS Sugar Daddy
The bust-A-Nutter Cutter
The Aged-Meat Fleet
The Pooner Scooner
Old Ironhides
The Vaginal Clot Yacht
Where all the White Cougs at?
The Shwingy Dinghy
The Cornholer Troller
The Twat Yacht
The floating Titty City
The Nail ‘er Whaler
Beware the luffing meat curtains!
Puts new meaning to the word Catboat.
(Heard over the cruise ship P.A.)
“Attn cougs and Gents, at 11:00 pm tonight, we will be having our who can drop trou on the bow contest.” Winner gets two front row seats for tomorrow nights Paul Anka show on the libido deck”
Hop on the Sloop BJ.
See how her mainsail sets.
Call for the Cosmos and a carton of EZ lube…
The panty and slipper clipper!
The rub and tug Sub!
“Attention, this is your captain speaking: the young man who took a dump on the poop deck is in the brig and awaiting the arrival of his mother via helicopter. Let’s see if we can convince her to stay…oh and whoever called Gopher a douchebag please apologize, he is very upset and won’t leave his cabin.”
Hope “Doc” has a supply of Depends.
I guess there will be some cabin stabbin.
Jew free fornication……
December?….Looks like another Nut Cracker, SWEET!
I’m partial to cougars, had a few and they were fan-fucking-tastic!!! (heavy on the fucking)
Elaine, let us know how it goes. We want a story as good as Dongers.
Sorry, Trav, you know my rule. Guys gotta be mid-40′s for me. Already raised my son, don’t intend on raising another one, especially one I’m sleeping with. You’ll have to get your on the spot coog coverage from WA or Jo Mama.
The best part of Cap’n Stabbin was that he just got a jobber…and his two first mates banged out the chick…and then when it was over, they tossed her overboard! hahaha, halarious
Never been afraid of the occasional coug. So, I met this one coug when I was 26 and she was in her early 40′s. Smoking hot and a freak. She would beg for cock and was ready for one pounding after another. She used to take me home to her old man’s spectacular crib while he was often out of town. Would bang her all over the house, smoke his stogies and drink his whiskey. When he was in town, she would come over to my piece of shit apartment in her Mercedes. Pretty sure everyone thought she was a call girl, as she certainly wasn’t afraid to come over all dressed for a good ass slammin. It got weird when the kid she had upstairs came down in the middle of a sex fest at her place one night. Shut it down after that. Couldn’t get the look on that kids face out of mind… (plus she (the coug not the kid) smelled like weird creams/lotions/powders etc that at my age I was not used to…