One man gang felled by bad clamwiches

September 17th, 2014

Noted 23-year old TheDanzaTap China correspondent, Zheng Gnag, is dead.


Authorities are trying to say the strain of tossing 4 loads in 10 days was too much. While such a schedule might do in me or you that story is bullshit because Zheng was a fucking juggernaut.

They’re hiding the real cause of his death: bad clam.

We’ve narrowed it down, determined to solve this ancient Chinese secret…

Could have been clam from smoked eelgrass…


Might have been the ying yang shramp…


Else it was some dreaded Booyah Barnacles that done him in…


We will all miss Zheng, the one man Gang.

Mr. Bum Bum gets laid a lot lot

September 16th, 2014

Miss Bum Bum loses her top top

September 16th, 2014

Portugese lovely and one-time winner of the prestigious Miss Bum Bum award, Marianne Ranieri, is dear to millions.


And so it’s the world’s business when she’s running around Miami topless.


Intriguing tan lines.


With the Miss Bum Bum title came much fame.

Here Marianne mocks some also rans.


In case you’re wondering who the competition is …


Thankfully her torso shields us from that dago’s bone bone.

Best man

September 16th, 2014

You’re the best man – now claim your prize…


I would choose the abundance of poundhound #4 because this is a wedding I never want to forget.

It would explain a lot

September 16th, 2014

Gerard Depardieu slams 14 bottles of wine a day.


Gerard is a renowned figure around here. Widely accepted as the Scott Baio of France, there isn’t a French leading lady whose drawers he has not trashed.

The French are a filthy race, by the way.

I’m friends with a French restauranteur. One day he was telling me about some bread he likes from a bakery near his place.

It would be enough to say “hey, the bread from this bakery is top notch”, but no – he had to say “oh zee bread” and then graphically mimic jerking off while rolling his eyes in the back of his head and moaning. Bread.

The French are filthy.