The Danza Tap

We all have them.

Wish I could help her find her bike. I don’t see it either.

No road map, lost now.

That’s not a helmet.

Restrictive jersey stifles blood flow.

Persevere, gentlemen.

Gents: always get your sex up front. Lawyers, cash, and local TV news aren’t going anywhere – that shit can wait.

The beauty is mother-of-three Jessica Strom, 33, and that poor bastard fiance of hers is lawyer John Schellpfeffer, 49.

Jessica wanted someone to visit John’s office and blow his brains out.

So our underworld newbie recruited an old high school friend whom she thought would make a suitable hitman. And cocksman.

Despite this sexual layup, the old flamer went to the cops and wore a wire to the next meeting. Jessica, in control now, negotiated the murder contract to $1000, down from $50,000.

The informant said he “would settle for $1000, adding “It’s better than nothing, I guess.” Strom replied, “And some sex!” At some point after the killing, Strom told the informant that she would meet up with him and “pay you and fuck you and whatever.”

Yes to the sex and whatever.

So do the math. The $50k job was refinanced to $1k cash and $49k worth of celebratory, mentally unstable boffing. A rare and special currency.

Our temptress drinking booze with a giant donkey friend.

Her skilled lawyer agreed to work this one … pro boner.

This is solid gold even though the earrings are solid plastic.

BLIND SQUIRREL

Teasing the beast

You’re overheated, better cool off

Chairs can baffle you, better lie down and think.

Shi-POW!