One man gang felled by bad clamwiches

September 17th, 2014

Noted 23-year old TheDanzaTap China correspondent, Zheng Gnag, is dead.

clamwich

Authorities are trying to say the strain of tossing 4 loads in 10 days was too much. While such a schedule might do in me or you that story is bullshit because Zheng was a fucking juggernaut.

They’re hiding the real cause of his death: bad clam.

We’ve narrowed it down, determined to solve this ancient Chinese secret…

Could have been clam from smoked eelgrass…

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Might have been the ying yang shramp…

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Else it was some dreaded Booyah Barnacles that done him in…

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We will all miss Zheng, the one man Gang.

Mr. Bum Bum gets laid a lot lot

September 16th, 2014

Miss Bum Bum loses her top top

September 16th, 2014

Portugese lovely and one-time winner of the prestigious Miss Bum Bum award, Marianne Ranieri, is dear to millions.

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And so it’s the world’s business when she’s running around Miami topless.

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Intriguing tan lines.

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With the Miss Bum Bum title came much fame.

Here Marianne mocks some also rans.

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In case you’re wondering who the competition is …

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Thankfully her torso shields us from that dago’s bone bone.

Best man

September 16th, 2014

You’re the best man – now claim your prize…

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I would choose the abundance of poundhound #4 because this is a wedding I never want to forget.

It would explain a lot

September 16th, 2014

Gerard Depardieu slams 14 bottles of wine a day.

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Gerard is a renowned figure around here. Widely accepted as the Scott Baio of France, there isn’t a French leading lady whose drawers he has not trashed.

The French are a filthy race, by the way.

I’m friends with a French restauranteur. One day he was telling me about some bread he likes from a bakery near his place.

It would be enough to say “hey, the bread from this bakery is top notch”, but no – he had to say “oh zee bread” and then graphically mimic jerking off while rolling his eyes in the back of his head and moaning. Bread.

The French are filthy.